Certain truths about men are ugly, but they are important for every woman to know. This knowledge will enable woman to work with the reality of how men are but not the ideal of how men should be. With this insight. You can avoid being excessively hurt. Not all men fit the description because men are not all the same. Nevertheless, there is certain general description that fit most men. This is an honest attempt to dig into the inner thoughts of men that are ugly truth.
Ugly Truth Number 1
Men Mistake Female Friendliness
Men find it difficult to interpret the subtle cues in women’s body language. They often project onto women their own motives because men are innately sexual creatures. They mistake smiling and friendliness for sexual interest. They see the world in more sexual terms. And you can’t blame them. It will be helpful if we can teach men that a woman who laugh at your jokes, stands close, smiling at you or touch your arms doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s sexually interested in you. Women by nature generally value love, communication and relationships. This sexual inappropriate behavior in men can be prevented. Women should be prepared for an escape route if men start indicating interest: “Oh! I just remembered I have to meet my boyfriend! See you, bye’. Sometimes you have to be blunt, and let them know that you aren’t interested in them that way. It’s better to do this than to lead them on.
Ugly Truth Number 2
Men Have to Force Themselves to Marry
In our society, it is expected that men should marry otherwise he wouldn’t. Men feel uncomfortable in committing to any one woman. The thought of getting married to a woman fills him with fear even when he loves her and thinks he want to spend the rest of his life with her. He thinks about restrictions, financial commitment and adjustment he has to make.
He is Afraid to enter into long life relationship with so many restrictions. He has been conditioned toward chasing many women and wonders how he will be able to stifle the urge. Committing to marriage goes against men’s natural instincts.
Bradley German and Christopher Pizzo Wrote in their book, How to Understand What Men Want and Turn it to Your Advantage, “When a man knew the woman he loves is considering marriage, he start considering it too not because he wants to but because she expects it, He knows it’s the right thing to do. He knows if he didn’t propose, he may lose her. He does not think of the benefit of marrying the woman he loves will bring him, rather he thinks all the negatives”
THRUTH NUMBER 3
Men are Visual
David Murror, author of What Your Husband isn’t Telling You narrated the story below in his book:
Author shaunti feldhahn asked 400 men this hypothetical question; “imagine you are sitting alone in a train station and a woman with a great body walks by and stand in a nearby line. What is your reaction to the woman?” 90% of them admitted they would look. Feldhahn summarize her findings this way; Men can’t afford not to look at a beautiful woman, there is no stopping it. All they can hope to do is control their response. Myles Munroe Explaining in his book, Understanding the Purpose and Power Of Men, how men are sexually trapped as some believe that they are born again, spirit-filled and never thought about extramarital affairs. He wrote frankly that men are sexual creatures, and they can be attracted to a woman other than their wives. He pointed to a recent survey which shows that man’s brain has a physiological response to seeing a beautiful woman that is comparable to his response to food. Apparently when a man sees a beautiful woman the ‘’Pleasure’’ circuit in his brain react, a physical response that is part of male design. He enumerated in his book how we can overcome the trap and tempting thoughts of women
Why is it so hard for a man to resist the urge to stare at a beautiful woman? Bradley and Christopher in their book pointed out that men just enjoy the pleasure of observing something beautiful – much as he would enjoy looking at a beautiful car, a work of art or aesthetic building. But the pleasure of spotting a beautiful woman is more primal and intense because it’s linked to the survival of the human race.
What of woman that dress in short skirt, tight fitting blouses and spaghetti outfit? They simply make men to treat them disrespectfully; It’s like dangling Sapele water in front of an Urhobo man and then complaining when he tries to take a bite. If women want chastity, show some modesty, help men and don’t tempt them. Married woman should understand that their husband is under a constant barge of sexual temptation. They are immersed in the most tempting society in human history. If a man peeks at woman often, don’t get worried. Author David Murror suggest that the next time you catch your husband stealing a glance at that 20- years old in the bikini, don’t think negative thought, wrap your arms around him and say “I know you’re tempted all the time, and just want you to know how much I appreciate your faithfulness to me”
Truth Number 4
Waiting for a Man to Be Ready
Knowing when to wait a man for engagement is one of the longest decisions a woman has to make. She gets confused with his actions and words and concludes he may never be ready to get engaged. Author Bradley and Christopher analyzed men and women urgency; Men are not stupid. They understand the sense of urgency of a woman and her concern about her biological clock and having children. Men struggle with this decision of getting engage versus waiting for something better. Men differ in the sense of urgency that woman do. Men by nature value competency, power, efficiency and achievement. Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve. Men focus on their career and work hard to make more money and have more influence which could give them the opportunity to meet more beautiful and desirable woman.
A man’s sense of urgency in getting engaged is tied to where he is in his career, what his friends are doing and whether his friends are single or married. When they are all single, he doesn’t bother himself much, if they begin to get engaged, he start worrying about being the last one left, this may give him a sense of urgency
Ugly Truth Number 5
A Trip to the Girlfriend’s Parent for the First Time
A part of the relationship that is scary to a man is meeting a girl parent especially the father for the first time. A man is most nervous when meeting his girlfriend Dad because father scrutinizes men who are pursuing their daughters by asking critical questions. Men appear so nice and very responsible even if they are not. They tend to dress well, clean shaved and have their haircut with a responsible hairstyle because that is what her parent want to see. Father was once single and knew several tricks. Your father is trying to evaluate whether he is worthy of his daughter. Giving him information about your father’s values will really help him
When a man meets his girlfriend’s mom, he is more at ease because women talk to their mother about their boyfriend relationship, A man impresses the mother more and get her to see him as a nice and respectable guy in order to increase the chances of the fathers acceptance. Most often it’s the mom who makes the final decision. It is the mom that will defend him against her husband if he ever falls on his bad side
Ugly Truth 5
When Men Lie
Telling the truth is the bedrock of any happy relationship. It creates trust and bonding. Lying is a human trait, but honesty is the best policy. Every time you tell a lie, you need several lies to back it up. In most case you still get caught. This habit is self-destructive. Here are some reasons why men lie to other women
- A Man will lie to a woman about his financial status
- Lie about his accomplishments
- Lie to raise his status.
- Lie trying to make a woman feel good, comfortable and accept him
- Lie to avoid conflicts
- Lie about number of partners he has
- Lie of his whereabouts
- Lie about his feelings and to protect his selfish interest
- Lie about his past relationships
- Lie about being better than other men
- Men lie because women don’t listen
When a man lie to a woman, the woman will only love the person the man is pretending to be but will not actually love the guy. And it won’t be long when the truth will unraveled and the love for him will turn to hatred
How can you believe what a man is telling you? Are you being lied to? There are body languages that men display when they are lying to a woman. Author Allan and Barbara Pease in their book, The Body Language of Love outline the main lying gestures:
- Lying men usually rub their eyes vigorously and sometimes, they will often look away
- People under pressure especially when they are lying will dramatically increase their blinking rate
- Lies cause a tingly sensation in the delicate neck tissues and a rub or scratch is required to satisfy it.
- Liars tries to block out the word being said by tugging the ear lobe or putting one hand over their ear
- The hands cover the mouth as the brain subconsciously tries to suppress the deceitful words that are being said.
This has to be used in clusters of at least three, noting the contradiction in the word and action before you could spot the liar. However, there are plenty of men who are open book.
Ugly Truth Number 7
Men are Obsessed with How a Woman Look
A woman looks mean so much to a man, on first meeting a woman, a man judges her by how attractive she is before he begins to analyze the inner beauty (quality) beneath the outer beauty. If a man doesn’t find a woman attractive, forget it, you don’t have to be flashy or look like Miss Nigeria. He just needs to be physically drawn to you
Men want a woman to have the perfect body and appearance without any flaw. He criticizes a woman size, height, shape, skin color, her outfit, her makeup. She never looks good for him. Often the men who are obsessed with having their women look perfect engage in habit of wearing dirty socks with smelly feet, dirty underwear, rough beard and bushy hair, bad breadth and smelly body. Their toenails stabbing their partners in the leg, unwashed body reeking of stale sweat and tobacco, jagged pants or shorts dangling around their thigh like a scarecrow. Unfortunately, there are perfectly nice men who exhibit many of this poor hygiene.
One of the biggest complaint men made after they have married their wives is that they care less about their appearance making them become less attractive to their wives. This is true. But men should also look inward and look good. He should realize that women are not object but they are human like men
I hope this article make sense to you. Kindly drop your comments and remember to like our page.
By Olusegun Solaogun
CEO: Firstway Bookshop